1. blackcatbones:

Be mine.

Maybe you didn’t hear about it, you’ve been away a long time. They didn’t go up there and tell you.  People don’t wear collars like that anymore.  Ever.  
  2. Don't know if you've got any ladies in your life who currently pass the door test, but if you do/did what gift would you like to receive? Make it interesting with a money is no object gift and a more reasonable gift.

    If homegirl can’t afford my svpply.com SS ‘12 Grail Kit pictured above, bitch better be gettin’ me a year’s supply of Gummy Bears.  There’s nothing unreasonable about any of this.

  3. David Tyree Apparently Moonlighting As a Strip Club Bouncer

    By a show of hearts, how many of y’all shouted, or at least murmured, “nice try, bro!” when the camera cut to David Tyree for three seconds during the Giants’ game winning drive last night?  I mean, I have no empirical evidence for the above title, but that’s the only conclusion I could come up with having taken one look at that abomination.  

    Sure, I am forever grateful that Tyree pretty much single handedly put an end to the Brady-Belichick Era by making a eunuch of Rodney Harrison on that fateful night, but shit, maybe instead of dumping money into the National Organization for Marriage homeboy should just hire a stylist.  #notsayinjussayin

    Note: Because Tyree has pretty much fallen off the face of the earth, I had to resort to pulling a photo that was taken from someone’s iPhone and posted to Barstool Sports.  

  4. Notice how you do not recognize neither Captain Dickhead nor Lieutenant Doucher despite having obviously attended Pitti Uomo, a place that produces enough photos to break the Internet?  That should raise a flag the color red like a fuckin’ low battery.  Especially my mans on the left—tweed shooting blazer on some pleated suit pants?  I mean, I hope and pray to God that’s because Alitalia lost his luggage, because that shit’s foul like crack in the ’80s.
    High Res

    Notice how you do not recognize neither Captain Dickhead nor Lieutenant Doucher despite having obviously attended Pitti Uomo, a place that produces enough photos to break the Internet?  That should raise a flag the color red like a fuckin’ low battery.  Especially my mans on the left—tweed shooting blazer on some pleated suit pants?  I mean, I hope and pray to God that’s because Alitalia lost his luggage, because that shit’s foul like crack in the ’80s.

    (Source: vizatrix, via tetinotete)

  5. Bro, what's wrong with the latest photo? Is it the belt and the waistcoat? The unbuttoned button? I'm new to this menswear thing and some of the outfit you criticize looks quite fine to me. Some explanations apart from the jokes would be really helpful. Thanks NTB.

    First of all, that waistcoat is…something—four pockets, heavy chalk stripes and white stitching to boot.  Second, no one, and I mean no one, who has grown at least one pubic hair should ever wear a Casio watch.  And finally, as a general rule, white accessories are just plain wack, and that hat is no exception, particularly when homeboy is rocking quarter brogues and a wool tie.  The whole look screams “Wilmer Valderrama,” and if you don’t see the problem in that, well, then you really need to do some soul searching.

    Edit: Thanks to Tower of Sleep for playing center field—I had a brain fart this morning and failed an idiom exam regarding sore eyes and shit like that.  Oops.  

  6. Sorry, broski, but red duffle coats are a little too “Little Red Riding Hood has a thing for bestiality" for me.  

    Sorry, broski, but red duffle coats are a little too “Little Red Riding Hood has a thing for bestiality" for me.  

    (via matthewwiebe-deactivated2013010)

  7. In an attempt to appear classy, homeboy takes his shot at the clip-on bow tie, which ironically makes him about as classy as someone in his mid-twenties looking to complete the Tour de Franzia.  
    High Res

    In an attempt to appear classy, homeboy takes his shot at the clip-on bow tie, which ironically makes him about as classy as someone in his mid-twenties looking to complete the Tour de Franzia.  

    (Source: nighthike)

  8. This reminds me of that truck-stop gay prostitution raid scene in There’s Something About Mary. 
    High Res
  9. jamesfr:

Calvin Klein Collection

Homeboy looks like one giant fucking Boo Berry scratch and sniff or some silly shit like that.  
    High Res

    jamesfr:

    Calvin Klein Collection

    Homeboy looks like one giant fucking Boo Berry scratch and sniff or some silly shit like that.  

  10. thedusociety:

You will absolutely never fail in adding flare to an outfit through a pocket square. Continue to be distinguished…

Blazer’s looking like something out of a Missy Elliot video.  It’s either that or homeboy is trying to suck 15 pounds for Paris Fashion Week.  I would point out the black watch/brow belt combo, but that’s gotta be the last of this doucher’s concerns.  
    High Res

    thedusociety:

    You will absolutely never fail in adding flare to an outfit through a pocket square. Continue to be distinguished…

    Blazer’s looking like something out of a Missy Elliot video.  It’s either that or homeboy is trying to suck 15 pounds for Paris Fashion Week.  I would point out the black watch/brow belt combo, but that’s gotta be the last of this doucher’s concerns.  

  11. You have no idea how much restraint Precious Roy over here had to exhibit to not jump out of whatever garbage can he slept in last night with a steak on his head.  If I get one more question asking me to explain the difference between “fashion” and “style,” I swear on aythang I’ll just reblog this photo 7540956049 times or until I break the internet.  

    You have no idea how much restraint Precious Roy over here had to exhibit to not jump out of whatever garbage can he slept in last night with a steak on his head.  If I get one more question asking me to explain the difference between “fashion” and “style,” I swear on aythang I’ll just reblog this photo 7540956049 times or until I break the internet.  

  12. This is exactly how I imagined Under Armour’s first iteration of the sports jacket would fit.  

    This is exactly how I imagined Under Armour’s first iteration of the sports jacket would fit.  

    (via miguelnevesdreamer-deactivated2)

  13. varonjournal:

My Monday Look,
Adam Kimmel f/w 2011-12
-Post by Hugo Lavín

Looks like Adam Kimmel is really making a go of attaining commission to design the next Tron uniforms with those pants.

    varonjournal:

    My Monday Look,

    Adam Kimmel f/w 2011-12

    -Post by Hugo Lavín

    Looks like Adam Kimmel is really making a go of attaining commission to design the next Tron uniforms with those pants.

    (Source: varonmag)

  14. has6himxangel:

I love when my pants are this tight. I need more pants that fit like this.

Did you mean to say that you love the boa constrictor-like grip such a pair of pants would have on your plums?  

    has6himxangel:

    I love when my pants are this tight. I need more pants that fit like this.

    Did you mean to say that you love the boa constrictor-like grip such a pair of pants would have on your plums?  

    (Source: ilikeoctapooarecool)

  15. wetheurban:

    Jeremy Scott x Swatch Fall 2011

    Once again Swatch has teamed up with the American designer Jeremy Scott to create a range of five new watches with colorful and loud designs. In true J. Scott fashion, the designer created a range of five new watches with colorful and loud designs. I’ll take one of each, please!

    Available now at colette.

    24 Karat Pictures presents a Shattered Dreams production: GOLDUST.  J. Scott, what a clown…