Fuck Adam Smith’s “individual ambition serves the common good” mumbo jumbo, that’s old news.  And it’s really much simpler than that.  Here’s what you do.  Go out to a couple of bars and eavesdrop, all night, on every conversation that pops up around you between some helpless chap and his object of desire.  Remain sober so that you can really, really get a gist of what homeboy’s saying.  I hope you’re reading this closely, because here’s the important part: next time you’re up to bat with some fine shorty that tickles your fancy, do the exact opposite of that which you witnessed during your night of espionage because, truth is, 99% of all men in this world have absolutely no idea how to talk to the fairer sex.

Sure, some of the above is in jest, but that’s mostly because I’ve (sorta) written on this topic before and am too lazy to address it again.

Finally, if all else fails, you can always just read this blog called How to Talk to Girls At Parties that my friend once told me about—I don’t really read it all that often but I’ve heard that it’s pretty popular and would appear to be all you need, judging from the title.