I look at him and am overcome by the thought of ripping out his larynx with my bare hands. Ninety-nine times out of one hundred, I only half-heartedly poke fun at lame ass dudes doing lame ass things; it’s only for that special one that I reserve a hatred so primal. It overpowers my sensibilities, so much so that I find myself scribbling absurd notes on Thanksgiving night.
I am thankful for his existence, I am thankful for people like him, soft as microwaved bananas, soft as a motherfucker. Despite all his efforts to emulate Joe Strummer, we see right through him, as he ethers himself on the interwebz.
Happy Thanksgiving, Tumblr. Thank you for making my job so easy, Look Book.
Soulland S/S Lookbook
Soulland ethers itself by dressing its model in a blazer one size too big and buttoning all of the buttons. Then drones across the Tumblrsphere reblog their lookbook. Well done.
A couple of years ago at a barbecue, a friend’s uncle overheard a hypothetical conversation he and I were having about how likely or unlikely we were to become either wealthy or destitute. Said uncle interrupted our conversation, black-out drunk and belligerent as fuck, and kicked some real old man knowledge to us. He said: “Boys, there are too many idiots in this world for you not to be rich.”
Let this picture serve as proof that my buddy’s uncle was correct.