The Style Blogger, a.k.a Danny “Did It My Way” Trepanier, did a post on “rethink[ing] your polo shirt” yesterday. For all I know this one could have revolutionized the way blogs are written or the way we all should look at our polo shirts, but I can’t tell you whether that’s a true statement because all I saw was a pair of sunglasses completely clashing with the skull on which they are situated. I mean, we all know that Canadians are known for their beady little eyes, so why would one ever want to bring attention to this universal truth? I don’t know, man…
Street Style # 29
Daywalkers are half-gingers themselves. Make no mistake: ginger kids are evil. You know who was ginger? Judas. And what did Judas do? Oh, he just got Jesus killed, that’s all. Look, I’m just saying what everyone else already thinks: Gingers are creepy. And one night, when you’re all sleepin’ in your room, the gingers are gonna getcha. They’re gonna GETCHA!
Hopping around clicking your heels and shit, whether in a lookbook or blog post, makes you look like a six year old child who caught wind of the Mr. Softee jingle. I actually really enjoy reading The Midwest Style, but they’ve been taking this disco-dancing, Oscar Wilde-reading, Streissand ticket-holding friend of Dorothy skip to my Lou shit way too far lately. Every post has a picture of one of them frolicking around, and that’s about as cool as catching Montezuma’s revenge the night before your wedding day.
So just stop jumping around, and I’ll stop complaining. That’s all.
Edit: To anyone who finds the above offensive, that line is a relevant (and in my mind, funny) quote from Clueless that is only intended to highlight the ridiculousness of jumping and frolicking in menswear. That’s all. Now take a deep breath and relax.
In one of the more memorable scenes of the most overrated mafia film of all-time, A Bronx Tale, our protagonist and future convicted felon, Calogero Anello, coyly engages the apocryphal neighborhood boss, Sonny LoSpecchio, on how to win over the adolescent bombshell from Webster Avenue, Jane. Nonchalantly driving in reverse down the streets of City Island, Sonny lectures Calogero on the fairer sex, more specifically, on how to determine whether the woman you are courting is one of the three great women that all heterosexual men around the world are permitted by some ethereal force to encounter (Sonny doesn’t delve into the hard stuff, just his general philosophy). In any event, the scene ends with Sonny explaining how the Door Test is the true litmus to determine whether one has indeed found a “great one.”
Contrary to popular belief, women also watch movies. Many of them have seen A Bronx Tale, and as a result many of them now come prepared for the Door Test. Not to mention, many men live in major cities and do not own a car, which is a necessary element to the test. So the Door Test is no longer a foolproof way to identify whether your target is a great one.
So I present to you the Shitty Style Test™. It’s quite simple. Log on to Brooks Brothers and ask your target what she thinks of the above-pictured jacketigan. If she reacts in any way that may be deemed to be more favorable than the way the residents of South Park reacted upon reading The Tale of Scrotie McBoogerballs, then she ain’t a great one. Period.
nice try bro.
When you’re v-neck tee is as deep as the middle button on your 3/2 roll jacket, you know you’ve taken it too far. However, this genetic mistake, albeit a daywalker, takes it one step further, by rolling up his sleeves, undoubtedly to show off a grip of silly bandz.
Which brings me to a larger point: please stop rolling up the sleeves on your jackets and blazers. It doesn’t give off an air of devil-may-care nonchalance, but an air of bro-eat-bro douchiness.