Remember that kid in college who bought an ages 7-9 ninja costume for Halloween because it would fit all funny and he really didn’t have much creativity to do anything else? Well, rock a blazer this short and knot your tie like that and overgrown drunk ninja boy’s memory lives on forever.
Those shoes are so God damn white, I just want to piss on them.
And 18” leg openings ain’t a thang when you’re stuntin’ in an Aegis Bangle. I bet broham got that off some crackhead on Saint Marks for 5000 gil and a promise that it would give him +15 Steez, +15 Sprezz and +35 Hater Evade.
Finally, commit this to memory: unfasten your blazer when you sit down. This avoids all that tugging and ugly draping you see here. Your hand should unfasten the button so seamlessly that such an action should be akin to breathing by the time you’re 21 years old.
“Super excited to hang out with my Peeps!”
For someone who looks like he can bench press Rhode Island, deep down, dude’s just a pastel-wearing, cuff rolling, Andy Bernard aspiring hard on.
Tyler Durden called…
But serious, “junkie chic” has gotta go for 99% of you. That’s because you’re not a junkie, nor are you chic. Project Mayhem would actually murk you posers, full on in your distressed, washed cheap leathers and beanies, running home to your Ikea nesting. This is a backhanded compliment. Take it and run.