Mike by oalfaiatelisboeta on Flickr.
Porto seems to be full of stylish men … why isn’t this the case in the city I am living in.
This is so slovenly put together and unkempt that it looks more like he was caught doing the walk of shame than posing for some street style.
Hands down, this is the most forced “street style” photo I have ever seen. I hope he got violently drunk later that night and didn’t realize his pocket square wristband had accidentally unfastened itself. Whoever found what looks to be an Omega Speedmaster undoubtedly would have taken better care of it than this boner. Social Darwinism, son. Social Darwinism.
Remember that kid in college who bought an ages 7-9 ninja costume for Halloween because it would fit all funny and he really didn’t have much creativity to do anything else? Well, rock a blazer this short and knot your tie like that and overgrown drunk ninja boy’s memory lives on forever.
“I’ve never actually seen one before, but some guy I sorta knew from prep school told me that a friend of his lives in Williamsburg and can say with certainty that hipsters smell, so I’m trying to shit myself to complete the whole look. And yeah, dad’s totally gonna flip when he sees that I pierced my ears—not very Milford, I know!”
Have you ever seen a prepubescent girl play dress up with her younger brother? You know, where she raids mommy’s closet and bombards said younger brother, item after item, in a delightful and entirely blinded fury? What I’m trying to say is that any girl who has ever played dress up with her younger brother did a better job assembling an outfit for bay-bro than this hard-on did for himself.
“Hey, mom? Yeah, sorry for calling so early, but I just wanted to let you know I woke up late for work this morning and just threw on a pair of your pants. What’s that? No, I’m totally comfortable with my sexuality, it’s just that you didn’t do my laundry last week, and I didn’t have anything to wear! Oh, come on, don’t be mad! I’ll make it up to you…don’t worry about my allowance this week, I’ll just complete my chores gratis. Aw, I know you love me, ma! On top of all that, I promise not to leave skid marks, either—I ran out of underwear, too, so I’m wearing your thong. Talk to you later, ma!”
After spending over a decade playing professional basketball, it’s not surprising that Keith Van Horn would succumb to the drop-crotch pant. Nice socks, bro.
What’s more amazing is that Mr. Van Horn was on the cover of NBA Jam ‘99.
(Source: styleclicker.net, via epitomeofstreetstyle)
Bryan Boy (via The Sartorialist)
His style knows no limits
“Learn to limit yourself, to content yourself with some definite work; dare to be what you are and learn to resign with a good grace all that you are not; and to believe in your own individuality.”
- Henri Frederic Amiel
What Henri meant, Bryan Boy, is that you should slow down and stop getting ahead of yourself. The fact that your style “knows no limits” is not a testament to your individuality, rather it’s evidence that you have no fucking idea who you really are—just floating through life, day by day, one ridiculous outfit to the next. HTFH.