1. What did we learn from NYFW?  Three-quarter length farmer’s tans are the way to go for ss ‘13, NATCH.

    What did we learn from NYFW?  Three-quarter length farmer’s tans are the way to go for ss ‘13, NATCH.

  2. Pitti the Fool Returns and NTB Gets His Swerve On

    Everybody,

    It’s that time of year again: Pitti Uomo.  You know, that place where 60 year-old greaseball Italian dudes pose for pictures outside of some old fortress or some shit.

    This will be my second consecutive Pitti, and while I hope to find the time to deliver you the sights and sounds of Peacock Fest 2012 via my Pitti the Fool blog, this time around will be a tad bit different.  I wish I could share more details, but for the sake of not jinxing myself or causing some mysterious jinn to take deep offense at my actions, I’m just going to have to leave it like this: NTB is gettin’ out the game for (what I hope to be) brighter pastures sometime in the very near future.  If you’ve been following my Instagram, know me personally or have kept your ear to the ground, you know what I’m talking about.  And if you don’t fall into one of the three aforementioned categories of human beings, you’ve probably at the very least noticed a precipitous decline in my content production over the last couple of months.  My bad, dog.

    That all being said, I truly hope I have enough time to keep you apprised of all the latest goings-on at Pitti Uomo 82.  And I ask for your forgiveness in advance if I am entirely too overwhelmed to create a critical mass of consistent content next week.  Finally, to those of you who have put up with my petulance and self-aggrandizing over the last year, thank you.  Continue to say your prayers and eat your vitamins, and I promise you NTB has something up his sleeve for y’all.

    - NTB

  3. Let's Play DRESS UP!!!

    I had to lift my self-imposed moratorium on TSB bashing for this one.  I mean, seriously, I’ve never seen such a little poseur twat in my entire life.  And to think, Dan was on to something when he started his article with “Style is about the individual.”  But homeboy is on some Eddie Murphy bullshit.  Individual?  Right, because there’s no better way to express your individuality than by dressing yourself up as some dead white dudes who accomplished more in their lives than you ever will.  Cool stuff, bro.  Really cool stuff.

    Sergeant Dickhead

    Van Gogh Fuck Yourself

    Poseur Laureate

    Indiana Jones and the Fate of the Interwebz

    The Future Is Unwritten

  4. your thoughts on D-Why... #menswear rapper?

    This right here’s the type of dude who, at his eighth birthday party, stood on the diving board and screamed “Mommy…mommy…MOOOOOOOMMMMMYYY!!!  Look at my cannonball!!!”  Simply put: his lack of self-awareness and based sense of entitlement rival only that of one other person in the #menswear universe.  

    All that said, he’s actually pretty talented.  But let’s face it, he’s a gimmick.  Do you really think there’s widespread appeal for this kind of gimmick?  I mean, in a day and age where GQ is struggling to keep about 600,000 monthly subscriptions, how can an act like this survive?  Homeboy’s got some figuring out to do, and I wish him the best.  

  5. Look at that stare—ice cold!  He’s got that “no TV and no beer make Homer go something-something" face.
So, take note: next time your neighbor’s cat wanders into your apartment, grab a shear and make a collar out of his fur.  That’ll teach him.  Dan the Man’s got everybody thinking outside the box these days with that whole DIY fur scarf movement.  Kudos.

    Look at that stare—ice cold!  He’s got that “no TV and no beer make Homer go something-something" face.

    So, take note: next time your neighbor’s cat wanders into your apartment, grab a shear and make a collar out of his fur.  That’ll teach him.  Dan the Man’s got everybody thinking outside the box these days with that whole DIY fur scarf movement.  Kudos.

    (Source: thekewl)

  6. Pictured above is everyone’s favorite blogger, Dan the Man, stubbornly stuck in 2004, when the hoodie was considered to be appropriate for layering under a blazer.  Not surprisingly, in that same year, Von Dutch was considered to be dope and Theo Ratliff led the NBA in blocks per game.  He must own a DeLorean or something like that.

    Pictured above is everyone’s favorite blogger, Dan the Man, stubbornly stuck in 2004, when the hoodie was considered to be appropriate for layering under a blazer.  Not surprisingly, in that same year, Von Dutch was considered to be dope and Theo Ratliff led the NBA in blocks per game.  He must own a DeLorean or something like that.

  7. Bonus Tip: How to Lace Up a Pair of Oxfords

    Criss-crossing laces on a pair of oxfords is the shoe-tying equivalent of playing center field with a catcher’s mitt.  Not only is it clumsy, but pretty much everyone who sees you will notice that there’s something slightly off about your appearance.  

  8. theitshack:

Classic spring/summer shorts with a bite of a catch ;) Bounty Hunter shark bite shorts 

Subconsciously, this sends out all the wrong vibes.  It’s as if entry to his unit is being guarded by a couple of velociraptors.  If you’re going to make a mockery of your pants, why not make love to one of those Belgian, mythical, sarsaparilla-eating blue creatures?  At least then you can feign superlative wisdom of abstract expressionism. 
    High Res

    theitshack:

    Classic spring/summer shorts with a bite of a catch ;) 
    Bounty Hunter shark bite shorts 

    Subconsciously, this sends out all the wrong vibes.  It’s as if entry to his unit is being guarded by a couple of velociraptors.  If you’re going to make a mockery of your pants, why not make love to one of those Belgian, mythical, sarsaparilla-eating blue creatures?  At least then you can feign superlative wisdom of abstract expressionism

  9. “These chinos could be considered controversial.  They are a nod to [his] artistic youth and [Signac] during his years in [Constantinople]. He splattered huge canvases laid out on the floor of this [boat]. You either get them or you don’t.  While you can’t wear them too often, [this dude] knows [that he’s] the only guy doing so when [he] does.”
Sorry, Freddy: pointillism > abstract expressionism every time (read: running through flower beds in What Dreams May Come > fucking a smurf, every time).  
    High Res

    “These chinos could be considered controversial.  They are a nod to [his] artistic youth and [Signac] during his years in [Constantinople]. He splattered huge canvases laid out on the floor of this [boat]. You either get them or you don’t.  While you can’t wear them too often, [this dude] knows [that he’s] the only guy doing so when [he] does.”

    Sorry, Freddy: pointillism > abstract expressionism every time (read: running through flower beds in What Dreams May Come > fucking a smurf, every time).  

    (via thebestofthebourgeoisie)

  10. Why do people like Style Blogger?

    I have spent many a sleepless night asking myself this very question.  The only explanation I can proffer is that that sneaky bastard somehow orchestrated the world’s largest simultaneous inception and impregnated the minds of defenseless menswear neophytes—fuck, even some of its most tried veterans—across the globe.  Kudos, Dan.

  11. appropriate to wear a pocket square with a v neck and a blazer?

    While you’re at it, carry a copy of Neil Strauss’ The Game so the broads really know you mean business.  

  12. Game Changer: General Poor Taste and Real Hideous Turtlenecks

    Mayweather burns hunnids, TSB tosses ones.  I guess those Nordstrom checks aren’t as flush as some thought.  CASH.

  13. toniclark:

Duco Ferwerda by Marco Bertani for Fashionisto Exclusive

The shirtless cardigan is that much worse when you have the chest of an 11 year-old girl.  I’m fairly certain in a couple of states, at least the deep south, this would be considered child pornography.  
    High Res

    toniclark:

    Duco Ferwerda by Marco Bertani for Fashionisto Exclusive

    The shirtless cardigan is that much worse when you have the chest of an 11 year-old girl.  I’m fairly certain in a couple of states, at least the deep south, this would be considered child pornography.  

    (Source: )

  14. iphone-vision:

    Men’s Fall Guide to Style | Nordstrom 10.20.11

    The Style Blogger, Dan, speaks on American men’s biggest fashion mistake.

    That’s funny, I didn’t hear him say a word about himself.

    (Source: )

  15. the latest styleblogger post... :,(

    Much like The Game said on his debut album, “I never take shots at legends, it’s just something I don’t do,” I’m not looking to go in on Mr. Macko.  However, if Mr. Macko’s wardrobe does indeed “speak to who [he] is,” then he must be some cross among William Shatner, a Zulu warrior and a confused Japanese teenager.  It also makes me believe that I will be very successful at whatever endeavor it is in which I find myself engaged.